Deployment vs. Holiday

This Halloween was a struggle. A struggle to both kill my inner grinch AND the deployment zombies. I am a holiday person by nature. Just look at the care packages I make! How can such a fiesty little craftster NOT go head over heels for anything involving decorations?

Ah..but holidays during deployment? EEK!


October started out with such gusto! I was itching to buy pumpkins as early as September! I was fantasizing about the epic Halloween care package I was going to make, and how I was going to dress up as the Queen of Hearts, and go to a party or maybe to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show live for the first time! I am a border-line goth, Marylin Manson loving, wanna-be Wiccan. Halloween is RIGHT up my ally! It is the pinnacle of everything that is ME...black colors, gothic themes, spookiness, cooky clothes, Tim Burton movies, the works! This year, I was going to take it a step further and celebrate "Samhain", the Wiccan religious holiday. I'm an atheist, but I have always been drawn to Wicca, and this year seemed the perfect opportunity to experiment a little.

But as the month shlupped on, I got less and less eager. I bought the most amazing, beautiful, edgy costume ever:

Oh yes, that costume just SCREAMED Vegas (and I love Vegas). It was everything I wanted in a costume 1) Alice in Wonderland themed 2) short and skanky 3) a touch of goth 4) sexy sexy sexy!
But then, after I bought the costume I realized I had nothing to do with it. I wasn't invited to any epic parties, my husband was deployed, we had no kids to trick or treat with, I wasn't going to Vegas...I guess I could always just answer the door looking like a Vegas whore, but where's the fun in that?

So I got into a bit of a dumpy mood. I didn't put up any decorations. I never made it to the grocery store to buy pumpkins to carve. I never got around to making my pentagram to hang on the door, or my Samhain candles (for the dead) or any of that.

Tonight was the pinnacle of the deployment vs. Holiday battle. I sat in my house, in my pj's, unkempt hair, being grouchy about everything and having a serious "low self esteem" moment. I cursed the heavens, swore at the cat, did the dishes, and sat on the internet. The first wave of trick or treaters came through the apartment complex, rapped on the door a few times, and I hovered in the back bedroom like a scaredy cat, trying to pretend to not be home.

About mid-way through the night I realized I was wearing dirty clothes. And that I was surrounded by more dirty clothes. And that my closet was empty. Begrudginly, I stripped naked and sorted my laundry. But..there was a problem. Our washer and dryer are on the porch, meaning I can't do my laundry naked otherwise the neighbors are going to get way more than a peep show.

So I put on the only clean outfit in my closet....my Vegas Whore Queen of Hearts get-up. After that, I figured since I was already wearing the most epic Halloween costume everthat  I might as well start answering the door.

And so, Halloween was saved! Saved my none other than the deployment laziness that threatened to kill it in the first place. I don't know if that counts as a win for deployment, or a win for Halloween.

Blessed Samhain!