Well I was just sitting around today looking at pictures and I decided to go back through some of my old photo albums on facebook. I came upon a picture. It instantly brought back such intense feelings I couldn't help but blog about it.
It made me REALLY think about what it meant to be a military spouse. Why do I put it with all this crap, the fighting, the deployments, the separation, the bullshit they like to call Tricare (don't even get me started on that...).
Why do I do it?
I remember that day so well, like it was yesterday. It stands out more than my own wedding. All that waiting and writing. I was a noob then, oblivious to military life and the green weenie of the Corps. But it was that obliviousness that made me really be able to stand back and look at things as they really are, without the politics, the drama, the heartbreak.
MY HUSBAND made something of himself. He set a goal and he achieved it. And it made me DAMN PROUD of him. I don't think I've ever felt more proud of something in my entire life. Not my high school graduation, not my scholarships, nothing.
It was a different kind of proud. When you see someone struggle so much to get somewhere and do something, when you see someone go through what he went through just to make a life for the person they love..the feeling is indescribable.
And that's what I'm resting on now. When I sit back and think FML this is BS why am I doing this, I think about him. As much as he is doing this for me, I'm doing it for HIM. I simply go back to that feeling of intense pride, seeing him graduate and become a Marine, seeing how excited he was, and that's what I focus on.