How to Have a Clean House

I have discovered the secret to having a clean house.

In my busy busy week, I have had ZERO time to clean ANYTHING. The kitchen especially was borderline HAZMAT. I thought for sure they were going to have to call my husband's unit back from the Middle East and have them all get out their MOPP gear and decon. this place (it's his MOS after all).

With company arriving in less than an hour and my kitchen looking like something out of "Fear Factor" I came up with the PERFECT plan. I hid the dishes.

Some went in the oven:
 

Some went in the dishwasher (crammed into all the nooks and corners and lying on top of things):

And the few that remained went in the microwave:

Granted, there were still a lot of dishes that didn't fit anywhere and were left in the sink, but I rinsed them and then covertly rotated the toaster to conceal the sink from certain key angles around the house.

Then I lint-rolled my carpet as a substitute for vacuuming (only the spots dark enough to show the white cat hair).

TADA! Clean house (at least at first glance...just don't look TOO close)