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TheRogueMilspouse

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Not the Green Weenie Again..

Funny story... (that's usually code word for UN-funny story).


The Marine Corps messed up their paperwork.

According to them, I'm 5 months pregnant and due in September. Now, under normal circumstances I'd say that error is comical. Here are a bunch of Marines running around making preparations for my husband's R&R to coincide with his baby's birth and there isn't even a baby! HAR DEE HAR HAR. Ya...har dee har my ASS.

Given that oh...I dunno...we've been struggling with fertility issue for the past 2 years, my husband is in the middle of nowhere, everyone around me is popping out kids left and right, and I don't even have a hope of becoming pregnant for at LEAST another year (simply due to DH's absence...don't even get me started on the months of fertility treatments it's probably going to take after that)...well needless to say I don't find their paperwork error to be funny AT ALL.

In fact, I find it to be utterly depressing. It makes me want to shoot someone in admin (disclaimer: I do NOT advocate violence against government officials).

My husband...the "glass is half full" kind of guy that he is, tried to make me feel better about it, joking about "if there's something I need to tell him" or how maybe he just has super sperm that is able to travel trans-atlantic. But it didn't work. I got off the phone with him and sat in the grocery store parking lot (where I was at the time) and just cried.

So thanks for making me feel spectacular again, Marine Corps.

You know...it's a real shame the "Green Weenie" isn't literal or I'd have been knocked up ages ago (I guess there is humor in misery)

12 comments:

Lindsey said...

Reading your post, I was perplexed. I had no idea what a cleaning implement had to do with fertility. You mentioned "green weenie" but I saw "greenie weenie" and thought of the scrubber thing that I use on the grill. LOL.

I'm such a dork, I went straight to wikipedia to find out what you were talking about.

Now that is a dedicated reader. LOL

I hope you feel better, tomorrow's a new day.

Lindsey

Laura said...

lol well now I'm perplexed...wikipedia has an article about the Marine Corp's green weenie? LOL

Mel said...

Ha ha. Oh, Laura.

I went to Google and lo and behold, it came through once again. My beloved UrbanDictionary.com came up with this.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=big%20green%20weenie

Classic.
And I'm sorry that once again you got the green weenie!

♥Miss Brittney♥ said...

im sorry hun. i hope your feeling better soon!

The LT's Wifey said...

My one and only friend on this island is dealing with the same exact issue. Her Doc actually told her to just give up-- damn, I love Tricare! I can relate in some ways though. I would love to have another baby, but with this deployment schedule it seems I am damned if I do and damned if I don't. Either I spend a year with him being hormonal and fat or a year alone and pregnant for the majority of the deployment. Either idea sounds pretty crappy. The military really makes it hard to live a normal life, ehh?

Laura said...

Tricare told us to "try harder".

Rika's Crafts said...

(((hugs))) Stupid things like that make it so much harder. I was pregnant when my hubby deployed, and a few days later I wasn't anymore - we had our 3rd miscarriage. I think that's why this particular deployment feels so much harder. The other times we've miscarried he's been home so I've been able to focus on trying to conceive again...but I can't do anything now. They won't even start testing as to why I can't seem to maintain my pregnancies (with the exception of my miracle daughter). They don't want to do any testing until my hubby gets home.

The systems suck and I'm sorry you have to deal with trying to get it corrected.

Marissa said...

How the heck do you try harder??? I don't even wanna think about it...the first time I read a post about the green weenie I literally sat there for 10 minutes and thought about it. Then when I figured it out I laughed so hard I cried. I'm sorry you're going through that though, way to go USMC...

Samantha said...

I honestly thought you were talking about a scotch pad greenie weenie.....I got what you were saying after a while, and I'm going to use that term now!

I'm really sorry they shammed you like that. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

You are a person who deserves a baby and to feel that love. It will happen for you! I hope this was a sign of good things to come!

Gaile said...

If the green weenie could satisfy me like my hubby does, I would look forward to always getting screwed......

But not so much, huh?

SUCKS that they always manage to kick you when you are already down.

Will it make you feel better if I start complaining about the misery of being pregnant? :)

THANKS FOR HANGING WITH ME TONIGHT, YOU ROCK.

fancypants said...

That's an example of why military wives have to be tough- to deal with crap like that. I was just talking to gal today that told me the OB nurse she was seeing actually insinuated (sp) that maybe the baby wasn't her husband's and they should do an early ultrasound to "be sure" (because the hubby was only home for a short time- in which she got pregnant.) It's a good thing that nurse is gone- 'cause I would like to have a "coversation" with her.
Love your Hubby's sense of humor- sounds like something mine would say. I think if they can't fix it they have to make you laugh about it. Hope you feel better.

Steph said...

Oh that's horrible. Hoping you feel better soon!

I just found your blog today and started following.