Sometimes You Just Gotta Punch Someone...

Today that someone is the guy who sold me my car.

In CA there is this thing called a smog certification. Depending on your zip code your car has to pass smog either every 1 or 2 years, and then every car has to pass a smog when ownership is being transfered (as in a vehicle sale).

When I bought my 'zuki my mechanic was poking around under the hood and fiddling with parts to make sure everything was in good condition. While that was happening I was talking to the seller. I asked him if the car would pass smog. His reply was "yes, it had to in order to even be registered".

Fast forward to Saturday morning I drove down to the mechanic's shop on the corner and had it smogged. It failed. Miserably. HC and CO levels were off the charts and the ignition timing was off. Ignition timing is not a big deal, it's quite easily fixed. More troubling was the HC and CO levels, since they had to run a full emissions diagnostic to find out why. They were closing that day so I had to wait until Monday to bring the car back.

Sometimes it's as simple as a catalytic converter that just needs to be replaced, so I figured I would do the diagnostic and hope it was just a little trivial issue. Well my diagnostic came back today...THE HEAD GASKET IS BLOWN.

So now I'm sitting here wondering a) HOW THE HELL DOES A MECHANIC MISS A BLOWN HEAD GASKET? I saw with my own 2 eyes the chocolate-milk colored coolant/oil mixture in the engine. I know nothing about cars, but even I know it's not good. How the hell does a seasoned mechanic who I brought out to inspect my vehicle miss something that critical? Did I not make it clear enough to him when I said I didn't want any MAJOR issues? A blown gasket is pretting major to me considering it's like a $1,200 repair.

The second thing I'm wondering is b) WHY DID THE SELLER LIE TO ME? Obviously had he said it wasn't going to pass smog I wouldn't have bought it (duuuh), but what he's done now is created a whole lot of heart ache for himself.

See...in the state of CA it is the SELLERS responsibility to get the vehicle to pass smog. Buyers cannot even legally register cars that don't pass smog. The smog technician pulled the DMV records on the car and found out that it had been smogged a day before I bought it...and it had failed. Meaning when Mr. car seller looked me in the eye and told me it passed he was lying...committing fraud...false advertising...however you want to look at it.

So what's going on now?

Oh I'm SUING HIM. Yes....little old me, the shy girl who sits in the back and doesn't say a peep is furious. I am so pissed off right now that I can't even think straight. I've been up for the past 4 hours angrily pacing my apartment unsure of how to conduct myself in such potent rage.

I'm going to talk to JAG tomorrow but the smog tech. gave me all the printouts I would need. According to the CA vehicle code 24007 the sale is null and void because the car didn't pass, meaning I am entitled to a full refund on the vehicle. Basically, Mr. moron who sold me the car is in for a long and painful road.

I WILL be suing him and I WILL be making his waking life a living Hell. And in the meantime I'm going to go down to the shooting lanes and fire several boxes worth of .45's down range.

Lesson to the rest of you random strangers I will meet in life: Don't fuck with me. Especially not while my husband is deployed.