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Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Deployment zombies

Wow...I don't know if this stage is "normal" or what.

When my husband first left I got into a routine and time passed rather fast. I was enjoying getting things done to surprise him and re-inventing myself.

Then I was excited for him to come for R&R.

Now I'm just like "WTF". I am so incredibly OVER this deployment that it's actually painful to even think about. I'm so insanely impatient that I spend almost all day sitting and dwelling on the time left. Time has slowed waaaaaaay down to almost a complete standstill.

If this deployment was an actual tangible thing I would smash it all over the ground, then reassemble it, and smash it again. If this deployment was a tangible thing that could feel PAIN, I would slowly torture it day in and day out, maybe buy some of those inquisition-era torture devices, string the "deployment" up by the toes and lash it, cut it, burn it, cause it as much pain and misery as was humanly possible. All just part of the "pay back".

I'm starting to actually get ANGRY at the series of events that have led me up to this point in time:

1. WHY did my husband have to get a longer deployment that everyone else's husband? Most Marines deploy for 7 months, so why did he have to deploy for 12?

2. WHY did my husband have to be deployed 4 months after entering the fleet? We went through 9 months of training separations only to move here and have him deploy right after the holidays.

3. WHY did my husband have to be part of the "surge" and get only a month of advanced warning? Well, technically there were 2 months of "maybe" and then 1 month of "yes"...but we all know that a "maybe" might as well be a "no" for all the thought you put into it ;)

4. WHY do we even have a war? 9 years...come on, seriously? I was 12 when 9/11 happened, now I'm 21 and it's STILL fucking up my life.

5. WHY my husband? Why not one of those other people who have been in the Marines for eons and never deployed? How is it that the second my husband leaves, fresh out of training, that I run into guys who have been in for 4, 5, 6, 7 years and never left the states? Hell, my cousin has been in the Army for 8 years and the farthest away from home he's ever gone is Washington DC. Can't he take his turn? And don't even get me started on the people who deliberately try to get out of deployments.

Deployments are like a zombie apocolypse...the only way to kill the deployment zombies is by severing the spinal cord...and you're trapped in a closet with a nerf gun and a bendy straw waiting for them to slowly starve to death.


Ashley M. said...

I asked a lot of the same questions during my first deployment (and even sometimes during my second and third). I don't understand a lot of it, but I learned that setting up personal goals helps keep my mind off of it, and time tends to fly by much faster too. Just hang in there.

Allie said...

I can't imagine you frustration, but i sorry you married a Marine and this is what that means. It's means that he gets deploy for reasons you might not agree with. basically you need to get over it

Laura said...

@Allie....sorry to be rude but, Fuck you.

I actually married a civilian. He didn't join the Marines until 1 year after we were married.

And just because deployment happens does NOT mean I have to be ok with it.

Anonymous said...

Haha Get her Laura. I married a civillian...NOT a Marine...