I was thinking today about all the changes that have happened as a result of this deployment and I realized...as crappy as it's been, I am SO GRATEFUL to go through this.
When my husband left he left behind a shy, scared little girl with little to no motivation to do much of anything. He left behind a girl who had a hard time making (and keeping) friends. I thought so little of myself at that time that I didn't even bother leaving the house in almost 2 months. I was jobless, anti-social, and reclusive.
Here's a picture of "old me":
I'm smiling in that picture, and yes, I was happy when it was taken. But it is not me. It is not who I REALLY am. I'm not expressing myself, my style, my personality.
But the girl he's coming home to is so much better. One thing that not having my husband around has done for me is forced me to grow as an individual. I've made friends (ACTUAL friends, no "cyber" friends). I got, and held, a job. I made my own money and it felt so good. I re-structured my way of thinking so that I'm a better person, with goals, who strives to understand people.
Here's a picture of "new me":