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TheRogueMilspouse

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Marine Corps Kind Of Life

What does it feel like to be married to a guy who comes home every night? Who is there on the weekends and rarely works late?

What does it feel like to be one of the those girls who cry over week-long business trips?

I was thinking about that today at my family's reunion. I was the only married girl there who's husband wasn't in attendance, and if that wasn't bad enough I had to deal with people's melancholic stares and sympathetic arm pats. Like I'm about to crumble into a million pieces and people need to "proceed delicately".

But when the reunion was over, I watched my cousins and their spouses climb into their family cars and drive home, and that's when I realized their husbands were going WITH them. It's almost as if I just assume that every couple lives apart for long periods of time. The idea of being with your spouse 24/7, every night, in the same bed, arriving and departing from functions as a COUPLE is just so foreign to me.

DH comes home for R&R next month and in a way I almost dread it. It's like a giant cosmic bitch-slap. My husband comes home just to leave again. It's a mini-reintegration, followed by a RE-farewell. I can just imagine what Borat would say: "Your husband is coming home....NOT!"

Factor in the recent fighting and stress levels through the roof, I'm actually scared of what's going to happen.

8 comments:

lola said...

Ugh those stares and "oh, I'm sorry" comment are the WORST part [well, ok, not the worst part of a deployment, but jeez I got so sick of them] of the deployment. I just want to shake them and tell them to not be sorry. I'm not sorry. I'm effing proud of my husband, and while it's a pain in the ass for him to be gone, he's doing something awesome for our country that 99% of the country isn't willing to do. Sorry, that's a little bit more hooah than I normally am, but I get a little uppity about it.

You don't have to have a mil spouse or parent to get the feel for how things are in the military lifestyle though. My good friend that I lived with last year was telling me how her dad was traveling on business usually 3-4 days a week. She grew up thinking a normal marriage consisted of mom for most days, and mom+dad for a few days. Because of that she swears she'd be better off marrying someone in the military because she's not sure she can handle something other than that sort of "normal." Granted, her dad wasn't in danger, but the distance and time apart thing is something she gets.

Carmen said...

Being a military spouse is definitely hard and I feel the same way when I go to things where I see everyone in couples. I always used to avoid things like that just so I wouldn't feel so isolated and lonely. I'm sure the R&R will give you time to talk things out and be together. Even though you will have to say goodbye again, you are probably about half way done with the deployment which is always a good thing =)

TAW said...

I think that's why I love hanging around so much with my other fellow deployed wives. At least when we all get together we know we're all going home to empty houses and when we attend events we're all solos.

Just Another MilSpouse said...

I am so there with you on this. I get fed up with the civilian wives who think they can relate to me simply because their husband went camping with his buddies for the weekend or some other ridiculous thing.

This being my 3rd deployment I was surprised to realize (or maybe I'm just now admitting to myself) that I am truly jealous of these people. I am jealous of their arguments over dirty clothes on the floor, or dirty dishes in the sink. I want to have my husband home to argue with, lol.

Our R&R is a few months away, but, like you, I am already getting worried. I worry that we will put so much stress on ourselves trying to "make the most of his two weeks" that we'll snap at each other. I also agree with you when you say it's a "bitch-slap", really, R&R is such a tease. And then to have to go through the "good-bye"s all over again.... no fun.

Amanda Jo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Erika said...

Ug! I hate those stares and the comments like "How do you do it?" or "Wow, I can hardly stand my hubby being away for a night!" I actually just wrote a blurb on my blog about this not too long ago.

With how often my hubby is away - most people don't even ask anymore where he's at; it's just sort of assumed that he won't be there at any get together.

(Sorry about the "Amanda Jo" comment and having to remove it. I didn't realize my sister was logged in on my computer.)

[Briar] . Designs said...

People probably treat us like that because THEY would crumble into a zillion pieces if they ever had to face what we do... my husband goes on TDA almost once a month, its horrid saying goodbye again and again. We all know what you're going through. Try not to get too down and take some "me" time.

Chelsey said...

Hey girl! I read your blog, a LOT, and I actually have a blog award for you to collect on my blog if you like! It's under the "My First Award" post. Thanks for the awesome reads!