Afghanistan featured on Nat. Geo

Tonight at 10 pm National Geographic is doing a 1-hour segment on Camp Leatherneck, Afghanistan as part of it's "Explorer" series.

In other news, I discovered this awesome website called Operation Write Home. They coordinate the making and sending of homemade BLANK cards to the troops, so that they can send cards and notes back home to their family. Follow Them on Twitter or Check Out Their Website.

So something funny happened today. For the past week I've been ignoring the housecleaning (and the dishes, and the dishwasher, and the laundry, and the cat...). It wasn't my fault (well ok it was) but before you lay ALL the blame on me, to my own credit I was indeed bogged down with cleaning our spare bedroom for my MIL who's coming to visit this weekend. So I tackled that head on, ignored everything else in the house, and then I got sick. So the state of our house today is AWEFUL. Every single dish we own is in the sink. Those that don't fit in the sink are stacked on the counter. Those that don't fit on the counter are actually stacked on the stove. It's terrible.

Well, I went to apologize to my husband for making him live in filth for a week and he turned to me and said "oh I didn't even notice". That's the way he's been living for the past 9 months in boot camp, SOI, and MOS. He said that when we ran out of plates and spoons and forks he just started using napkins and tupperware and plastic utensils. Out of plastic utensils? No problem, just use these toothpicks.

Ah the resourcefulness of Marines. At that point (lack of utensils) I actually stopped cooking and moved entirely to sandwiches, so the fact that he still managed to eat "utensil foods" this far into the week is an absolute miracle.

But I'll leave you for now (my documentary is starting). But upcoming this week:

1. Deployment Treats

I've seen a lot of deployment "treats" to send to troops overseas and each one seems to come with its own criticism. So I'm just going to skip the whole "relying on other peoples reviews" and do my own experiment with some baked goods, keen on finding a nice balance between taste and portability. Then I'll post a review so you all can "rely on my review" (ah, love irony). So this week I'm going to make some cakes in a jar and pudding cookies.

2. Flat Husband

This is the defining week for Flat Husband...the selection. I'll upload some possible photos and I want the blogosphere to vote on which one would be the best

Aaaand I'm out of ideas so I'll leave it at 2 for now. Come back in a few hours to see my review of "Explorer: Camp Leatherneck". And if you have Nat Geo, tune in with me!

And cross your fingers that I get the Spouse Centrals ambassador position I volunteered for. Oh and DH...I promise I will clean the house tonight/tomorrow. Even if I have to stay up all night again ;)

An Ode to Dead Blogs (and Flat Husband!)

Let's just say this is not the first time I have attempted blogging...although it is certainly my most popular attempt (can I have a shout out for 2 whole followers? Woot!)

I've had many dead blogs over the years. Most of them died at the hand of their writer, who never seemed to have time to update them. One of them was killed following an angry tirade about how the internet sucks. Three of them never saw fruition and sat endlessly in a state of "saved drafts", waiting for the moment when I might grow a pair and just post them already.

Possibly my most successful attempt at blogging (minus this one) was my own facebook page, rife with political notes. But then again, that's not entirely fair. On facebook you can tag people in your notes and otherwise force them into reading it. I just decided, after a while, that it was terribly unfair of me to spam other people's pages with my political musings. So I moved into the blogosphere, ready to sink or swim on my own.

That was scary. I pat myself on the back for having 5 posts already (a record). It's scary because, when you cherish something as much as I cherish my writing, publishing that for other people to critique and/or ignore is like sending your child to kindergarten for the first time. How are people going to react to me? How are people going to react to my writing...to this whole thing?

Oh and did I mention I stayed up all night against tonight? Oh well...I guess it's about time I embrace this habit of mine.

I got this GREAT idea though. I was thinking about all the things DH is going to miss this year:

1. My 21 birthday
2. My mom's big family reunion/party thing
3. 2nd Wedding Anniversary
4. Thanksgiving
5. Christmas
6. The cat's birthday (ok so I'm grasping at straws now...)

Anyways, the point is, he's going to miss things. So I decided to be clever. A few years ago when I went to the 2002 Winter Olympics, my cousin was doing a school project called "Flat Stanley" and he asked me to help him. Needless to say, Flat Stanley attended the 2002 Winter Olympics. My mom got really into it and even made a scrapbook of all the places the little flat boy visited.

So my genius idea...I'm going to make a "Flat Husband", and he can come to all these places with me. I'll just take pictures of "Flat Husband" spending quality time with me wherever I am, and then I'll send them to him so he can see what he's been doing in his own absence :)

Yup! I'm going to do that!

Stress and Urban Dictionary!

Just for the fun of it, I urban-dictionary-searched (or as I'll say..urbied) "deployment". I am loving the results:

1. Spending 16 months alone with my daughter while my husband is in Iraq, Afganistan, Korea or Germany. It is my husband missing 1/2 of our marriage due to his "duty" and endless readjustments when he is home. It is the cause of so much marital stress. It is the reason for so many nights spent crying and each day spent worrying.

But I just have to add my own little spin on that:

1. The 12 months spent trying not to throw a pity party, but doing it anyways.

2. The 12 months spent reassuring family and friends that you haven't just dropped off the planet, you're just worried about tying up the phone line or missing a vital call.

3. The period of time where you clean your house and it manages to stay clean just because there's no man to come barreling through the door and throw his socks all over the place.

4. The months spent feeling guilty about your secret enjoyment of being able to keep said house clean longer than 5 minutes.

5. A vague amount of time that keeps changing in length (12 months? 15 months? Only 9?), wherein you have to "hold down the fort"...nevermind that you've been doing that for years anyways. But this time you actually get credit for doing it.

Anyways, speaking in regards to that first definition "Spending 16 months alone with my daughter" I can't help but feel a sense of alienation. You see, we don't have any kids. It's not our fault either. We did not plan for that to be the end result. Our non-children are a mistake...a mistake I tell you!

But it's come to my attention that a large portion of deployment checklists, support groups, events, and advice is geared towards kids. FRG events are geared towards mothers with children. Even on-base classes and events seem to be more "mother-friendly" than "wife-friendly". Entering into a deployment with not even so much as a week-old fetus is actually a bit depressing.

I would love to be super mom (or even half-assed mom...or even just "mom" for that matter). I would love to be able to have that stress of taking kids to school, dealing with deployment as a family, and being able to have that momentary distraction. But I don't. We don't have any kids, so I almost feel like I don't even have a routine to return to. I don't have much of a routine to begin with since I've been out of work AND school for over 1 year, but whatever semblance of a routine I do have certainly won't be "returned to" anytime soon. I don't have anyone to take pictures of to send him. Nothing to occupy my time while worrying or spazzing out. And it seems like EVERY discussion between military spouses involves their kids, every event involves kids and parenting and kids and what to do for the kids and keeping things normal for the kids...

To be honest, it makes me feel like less of a wife. What do I even DO as a wife? It seems like these days I do a lot of web-surfing, TV-watching, random house cleaning and organizing, and microwaving. That doesn't stack up to what my husband does. I need something else...something to call my baby. Like volunteering, or a part-time job. Something that makes me feel less guilty about waking up at way too late to be considered "normal", and throwing some soup in the microwave and calling it "dinner".

But whenever I try to do that I am struck with the sudden fear of not being good enough. The prospect of even LOOKING for a job after being unemployed for so long is downright terrifying. What if they don't hire me? What if they do hire me but I start to hate my job? What if I can't do it? What if I don't get hired? What if I'm...fired? What if the schedule sucks? Don't even get me started on going back to school. I have a terrible track record with school and I know I really should finish my writing degree before DH gets out and wants to use his MGIB, but I just get so scared that I will stop going to class or that I will have no friends or that I won't make any friends or that I'll end up on academic probation again..just all these what ifs that terrify me. So I stay home and do "wifey" things, hoping for something more..like a baby. Something to give me the satisfaction of doing more than just hanging out at home vacuuming. Because as it is right now, vacuuming is about the only thing I can do really really well. And I stopped getting the gold star for that ages ago.

I need to earn a gold star for doing SOMETHING other than writing a blog that no one reads ;)

Does it ever end?

This is the 3rd time I have had pneumonia. Yes, you heard me right. The THIRD time.

The first time was right after DH got out of boot camp. The second time was right after DH got out of MCT. Now the 3rd time is right after DH and I moved to the new station. (Are we seeing the trend)???

In between all of these bouts of chronic lung pain and coughing I've also been pleasured with having swine flu, regular flu, and the stomach flu. Charming.

My husband, on the other hand, has been healthy as a horse. He had pneumonia once in boot camp, otherwise I haven't seen him so much as snivel. These past few days have been particularly bad and I feel terrible about it. Here he is, leaving in a month, and he gets to come home to a disgruntled housewife lying on the couch with kleenex in her nose and uncombed hair, frantically trying to order Nyquil over the internet. Sexy.

And did I mention that my attempt at having my Nyquil delivered was a fail? Ya, apparently Von's was all booked up for the rest of the day and couldn't deliver groceries. So who had to go out and get it for me? DH of course. Then to make matters worse, I slept in the next day (which is actually today...don't know why I'm talking about it in past tense) until 3 PM. So there goes all my progress getting up on time ;)

The one thing I have to be thankful for though...having pneumonia as many times as I've had it has allowed me to experience the wondrous world of military ER's. Oh and you can see where this is going, I'm sure.

A few months ago, sitting in my apartment at Fort Leonard Wood, I took a deep breath in and felt a sharp pain in my chest. My first instinct was "heart attack" so I jumped in the car (as anyone who suspects themselves of having a heart attack would do, lol) and drove to the Army hospital. 3 Hours later what did I have to show for it? A prescription of Motrin.

At the time, I didn't understand what was so funny about that. Yes, Motrin. So what? But after talking to a few people I realized that Motrin is the military's cure for everything. Sprain? Motrin. Pneumonia? Motrin. Can't sleep? Motrin. So now I just skip the late night ER visits and go straight for the OTC Motrin.

But I digress...literally the only thing right now keeping me from crawling into bed and sleeping for the next 12 months is that I have mandatory distractions. This next month will be busy. First my MIL is coming to visit, then DH has 1 week of leave, then my parents are coming to visit, and then it's the going away week. I have a lot to get done in that time period: cleaning the house, cleaning the house again (who woulda thunk it, but those things get dirty quickly), buying some stuff for DH, tailoring some of his gear, and I have to make a point to make every one of his favorite meals before he leaves. I would hate for him to be in Afghanistan thinking back to his last month of "special take out". Thankfully I have a man of un-picky tastes. Tacos, spaghetti, and stew it is!

I really need a better schedule

I'm a night owl by nature. There's just something about the wee hours of the morning when no one is awake and its dark that just makes me happy. Maybe it's that I can go outside in my pj's and get the mail without being seen, or that I can enjoy the goofy infomercials on TV.

Usually I've been able to force myself to go to bed by 1 or 2 AM, but today I think I really overdid it. I stayed up all night. My husband woke up to an empty bed, came out to the living room, and saw me watching Youtube videos and old episodes of "Full House" on TV and said "have you been up this whole time?" Yes, I have...mainly because I was incredibly lazy yesterday and slept until 6 PM. And when you sleep for 17 hours, you're generally running on a lot more than fumes come 5 AM. In fact, I'm quite wide-eyed right now. Feeling the effects of sleep deprivation only marginally.

The bad thing is, now that I was up all night, I'm going to have to stay up all day as well. No more of this "going to bed at 4 AM and waking up at 4 PM" stuff. Sure the night is great, but nothing is open, meaning nothing gets done, and I've seriously wasted a lot of decent daylight by being in REM sleep.

I keep thinking to when he's deployed and I just know I'll probably revert back to my night owl ways. When he was in boot camp, I did the exact same thing. He wasn't there, I was lonely, and day time is just so much more lonely when you don't have a husband around to talk to or even wait for. But night time..well no one is awake at night anyways, so it's almost an excuse to be an introvert. Instead of admitting that I'm a shy person who doesn't get out much, I can just claim to be a night owl and it makes it that much more acceptable. If you don't get out much simply because you're only awake a night...people understand that. They almost look at you with awe and say "I wish I could stay awake all night".

Well when you sleep in until 9 PM, it's really not that difficult.

My Welcome Message

The other day I got on the internet looking for deployment blogs. You'd think there would be a whole host of blogs out there from disgruntled spouses and girlfriends going through deployment. But there actually aren't.

So I decided to start my own. I figure, sharing my feelings and goings on will help not only me but also any other wives and girlfriends out there going through the same thing, or else about to go through the same thing. Learn from my experiences, and leave comments about your own.

Now, my story:

DH enlisted in the USMC on March 22, 2009. He is a CBRN defense specialist. We moved to our first base in November.

DH came home one day in December with the dates of a sudden, upcoming deployment. He's being deployed as part of the 30,000 additional troops to Afghanistan. I'm not allowed to tell you the dates of said deployment (OPSEC and all), but it's a few weeks away. This blog is meant to chronicle my experiences in the coming weeks, and then his 12 month deployment.